That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
