We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
