I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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