The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
