Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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