Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
