hotel room ftw
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
