I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
