we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
