I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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