and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she peed on how many people?
should my penis look like a turkey
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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