we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
