cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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