Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
