im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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