You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
