i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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