Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
