I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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