I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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