I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
