At least make sure they are 18
Why
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
