Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
