Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
