the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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