it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
