you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
