If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize