i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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