i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
