we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
