I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
