You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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