Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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