they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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