Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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