Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
