anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
