What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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