His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
