He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize