the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
