a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
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