I think my vagina is haunted
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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