..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
