Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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