Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
