You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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