The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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