It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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