i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
