If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
