If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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