We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
