uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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