Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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