whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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