she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
